The woman who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The woman who walks alone will likely find herself in places no one else has been before.
This past year has taught me so much. I’ve experienced so many new things… but through it all, I think i’ve lost a piece of myself.
There are things that i’ve lost control over and sometimes its really sad because there’s no one who I can talk about it with.
and in the middle of all this instability, i’m trying so hard to find stability in something, anything.
and maybe what i really need is to just let go. but it’s hard. it’s so hard to let go. but i know if I don’t i’m just going to keep falling down into this dark hole.
I feel like I’m slowly becoming someone I don’t even recognize. doing things i would never have imagined doing.
I always let my feelings get the best of me, and lately those feelings are becoming my worst enemy. They’re eating away at me and hurting me in ways that I can’t even describe.
I don’t want to be hurt, I don’t want to be sad.
There are people… people who I know don’t take me for granted, who truly care for my wellbeing, and who I know sincerely love me.
So this time, I think I really need to let everything go and find a way to put myself back together, not matter how long it may take.
I hope you understand if i want to take things slow. You have to understand that I don’t open up to people easily. I build walls.. lots of them. But if you’re lucky, the walls built for you will have windows, and maybe even doors. an maybe time and tenderness will erode the walls, brick by brick. And they will never be completely gone, but because of you they will become a thing of the past. I hope I’m worth all the effort in the end but I’m afraid that maybe i’m not. just know that if i give you windows in your walls we’ve got a shot. i hope that’s enough for you to not give up on me.